Fading

I still remember our first talk, the first time you said you adored me and my reaction towards that text. I remember it all. I remember you saying goodnight  everynight without me asking. And then because I asked for it. I've always thought that writing down what I feel would somehow make me weak because I know I won't feel this way forever. I still think that way but I also think I may like to read about you and mostly about me in the future. 

I've had a few drinks by the time I am posting this. Nevertheless I know what I feel. I feel we won't be in each other's lives much longer. I haven't seen you for more than a month. You're home but you said you didn't want to be with anyone. Not even with your friends. That makes me sad in so many ways. Firstly I miss you. Secondly I wish I could make you feel better. 

I guess it is unfair to sua all of this but none of it is new and you have heard it all from me in other occasions. I still love you and I still miss you. But I just don't know for how long now. And it makes me strangely sad. Also, I don't know how long I will make the effort and not give up on this, but I know myself and I know it won't be long until ir happens. And love will fase. Not only mine. Ours.