quinta-feira, 14 de julho de 2016

Fading

I still remember our first talk, the first time you said you adored me and my reaction towards that text. I remember it all. I remember you saying goodnight  everynight without me asking. And then because I asked for it. I've always thought that writing down what I feel would somehow make me weak because I know I won't feel this way forever. I still think that way but I also think I may like to read about you and mostly about me in the future. 
I've had a few drinks by the time I am posting this. Nevertheless I know what I feel. I feel we won't be in each other's lives much longer. I haven't seen you for more than a month. You're home but you said you didn't want to be with anyone. Not even with your friends. That makes me sad in so many ways. Firstly I miss you. Secondly I wish I could make you feel better. 
I guess it is unfair to sua all of this but none of it is new and you have heard it all from me in other occasions. I still love you and I still miss you. But I just don't know for how long now. And it makes me strangely sad. Also, I don't know how long I will make the effort and not give up on this, but I know myself and I know it won't be long until ir happens. And love will fase. Not only mine. Ours. 

sexta-feira, 8 de julho de 2016

Beach Bound

 
Summer is here in full swing. Holidays have begun, the sun is shinning strong and bright and the ocean is warm and salty as I like it. Drove down to Algarve with a few of my best girl friends and here we are, sunbathing, laughing, sleeping and not doing much else. Trying not to think much about college and the grades that are still to come in the next few days. Missing home a little bit to be honest, since it's been about a month now that I last went home. Missing a few friends as well, but that is really what I like most about summer: reuniting and gathering with all my loved ones, friends and family. The season has just begun and the best of it is yet to come.
Have a nice summer folks! 


sexta-feira, 1 de julho de 2016

Friday Morning, July 1st

I'm lying  in my bed. On the other side of the wall that separates our bedrooms you are packing your things to leave.

I was tired so I closed my eyes and left myself fall back asleep, maybe because I didn't want to say goodbye and would rather ignore what was going on. 
I'm now finishing this post and what I feel is bitter sweet. I am well aware you'll come back and everything is going to be the same. I also know you are going to have the time of your life and you sure deserve that moment for yourself. But if I think about myself, and even though I am sure I am just being silly for woring about this I am afraid I'll be a little bit (more) lost without you for half a year, or an whole semestre, as you prefer to put it. 
Life is good. Life with you and R. is even better.
This is always going to be your home.
See you next year. 

Love, M.