Hello

I am the yougest of two girls. As a child I used to have a reoccurring dream where I was in an empty space, pitch black, and a big ball that would get bigger and bigger like a snow ball, would come after me. 

Up until I was about 6 years old I used to drink my milk out of a bottle. Today I can't drink plain milk without anything solid on it. 

I had never gone under surgery of any kind nor have I ever broke anything in my body. But when I realised I couldn't see well, I didn't tell my parents for about a year, because I did not want to wear glasse. And since I was a tall kid growing up, I would always end up in the last row of the class, which made me dislike the subjects I couldn't understand, because I couldn't see to the board. Nowadays I still find incovenient to wear glasses but I don't mind it, and switch with contacts.

I did volunteering for the first time in middle school, my 9th grade (different system in Portugal), in a nursing home. My school had an anual theme and that year was all about volunteering. On a specific project subject class we had to choose an institution of any sorts and do some kind of volunteer work. Me, long with my group, would go once a week and I have very fond memories of those times. 

I then volunteered abroad in Indonesia before graduating college when I was 21. 

I only rode a motorcycle once and I loved it, but I also fell off so now I have a big scar on my right knee that I actually don't mind because it reminds me of sweet moments. 

Scars are one of the things I like most about people because there is always a story behind them, as insignificant as it may be. Along with scars, one of the first things I involuntarily notice about someone is whether they are right or left handed. 

And here a few facts about me that I would like to recall sometime later. 

Analog: Diana F+

Way, way back in February 2012, by the time I turned 16, a few girl friends of mine gave me the opportunity to turn their present into the best present yet. They had gifted me an experience pack, pretty much a voucher worth an experience by my choice. 

I remember considering surf lessons and pottery workshops but eventually I went for this other thing and maybe because back then I had no problem making decisions, all these years later, I can still state it was the best decision ever. 

So, on a summer day late that year, as I was spending some time in capital city, Lisbon, I signed up for a photography workshop. With analog cameras. I can't say what was cooler, shooting on film, with a camera by my choice, or just going around my fave city by any means of transportation for free - including those hop on hop off buses!

I can still recall some moments vividly. I remember we first had a small theorical session where we would learn the basics of our new cameras for the day - I chose a Diana F+, mainly 'cause they're cute - and then off we went, in and out of buses and trams, from on point to the other, clicking away. 

All Diana's F+ take 120 film and then you chose the format you wanna shoot. According to that you'll get 12 or 16 pics per roll. I was given 3 rolls (!!!), so I got a total of 36 shots (12 shots each roll). I opted for a format that would allow me to get big square frames, but either way, the final result will always be square shots. 

Then you just have to adjust the aperture, shutter speed and ISO according to the lighting and deppending on the subject and you should be fine. As I was not. Hello, pitch black pic in Starbucks, I'm talking to you. 

To make it easier, the Diana F+ as a focus ring with 3 different settings in accordance with how far you are from the subject (1 to 2 meters; 2 to 4 meters; or 4+ meters away). I can say I remember this part very well and I could never tell how far I was from the "thing" or if it was in fact focused, so I most likely shot them all in the same setting: 4m to infinite, which means, landscapes forever. 

The coolest thing I recall from shooting with that camera was that everytime I clicked on the shutter then I had to rotate the forward button too so I could get a new square of film! And this is exactly how you end up overlapping pictures! Whenever my film was coming to an end I tended to do it to make it last a bit longer. 

So this is what I did, and a few months later I got a CD on the mail, such as my used film, and that's how you got to see these beauties! 

Life Lately

Words don't come easy to describe the past days. I have got this feeling that everything is in constant change, and suddenly it's hard to know myself. I'm left with the sense that time goes by too quickly and I feel the need to slow down, stop for a minute and take it all in. But I can't seem to do so. I can't avoid this persistent perception that time is fleeting and I am waisting it. It often leaves me feeling overwhelmed. 

On account of a work commitment I ended up spending my first week of holidays in Lisbon. Due to reoccurant and repetitive routines for the past 2 months I was determined to spend my days doing more productive, fulfilling and somehow dinamic activities. Me being all about lists I planned out every single day of the week, starting early in the morning until bedtime, and made a weekly chart with all I was willingly commiting myself to. I went to little fairs and flea markets, to the local farmers' market on an early Saturday morning, I hitted up a few museums and exhibitions, I watched a play in my favourite theater for the fist time in 3 years and tried to catch up on a few films I was eager to watch lately. I baked cookies and sent them to a friend living abroad, I did the laundry and cleaned my house. I tried to run daily or at least walk as much as I could insted of taking the bus or the underground. I somehow managed to do it all, and was left with no spare time to worry about everything that had been on my mind lately. I still wish I had read more. 

By the end of the week I was quite happy I managed to do all I had previously planned spending as little money as I could. I would like to have gone to more restaurants or coffee shops, but since my saving money policy was in force that week I was quite content with what I still did. 

I then spent the weekend with my sister in Porto, before heading home for good until my birthday. 

The days had been kind to me and I tried to take it all in, as much as I could. 

Life is quieter now, painting, drawing, still photographing along the way. Running when I feel like it. But I'm also left worrying and overthinking about everything that is to come. 

Right now I am looking for places to go as I have the need to evade myself from familiar places. I still have to learn how to deal with myself, my thoughts and alone time. I feel like this is becoming more of a problem as I get older. 

I've been speaking English quite often but not writing it down so I decided to come here and leave a few thoughts on life lately. Still, I apologise to myself that I could not keep them shorter. Which deep down I guess I shouldn't, but instead embrace them. 

I am currently wishing I could speak more and better french, longing for the old days when I had classes and wishing I could have taken more out of it. Or at least not have let it all go away. 

Au revoir et a bientôt!

Porto, Jan 2018

Thank you sissy for having me :))