segunda-feira, 31 de outubro de 2016

Bye Bye October

I guess I don't feel the months as they pass by. I can count on the fingers of one hand the months I enjoy and appreciate. They are February, because I get to celebrate my birthday (I know, I know, so predictable), but also because I feel it is a special month since it is smaller than any other month of the year; December because it marks the end of an year and also because of the christmas lights and mood, reuniting with family, and I like the ice cold breeze too. Then I guess I like that time around the beginning of spring, but that's not a month really and I like when fall comes too, somewhere near september and october, when days are still long, the light is beautiful, the colors start to change and new scentes appear. So I guess that's it. 
October is now ending and I feel this year has gone by so (but so) fast and it is almost over. Another year. Another cicle. Another spin around the sun. 
Two more months and it's a wrap! 

sábado, 29 de outubro de 2016

" Sure, I could stay, but there’s a place I’d rather be"

"Sat back with the window down
Eighty an hour and the radio loud
The same songs with the same old rhymes
Tell me to shake it off and swing from the lights"
Drive, by Oh Wonder

Fact: don't feel much like photographing or letting myself be photographed lately.
This is just to contextualise the portrait above. One of the few I had taken in the past 3 months(?). I like it though. I guess it looks very natural and happy. This was a happy day indeed. That was a happy week and a happy month for sure. 
I am not always with that broad smile on my face but if there's something I sure thank and appreciate about myself is how happy and energised I wake up every morning. I guess it is my favourite part of the day. But on the other hand (and related to the lyrics) is that nights are usually the opposite to me. Not that they are necessarily sad, lame or whatsoever, but I do know that I become more vunerable to feel all sorts of feelings and to think about all sorts of stuff. In the morning I just can't bear complexity, I grin and live my life, I am optimistic and rational. By the night I am much more emotional and let myself go with a song, with a movie or with a chat with a friend usually leading to overthinking. And in those times what I enjoy most certainly is to go out for a ride, put some nice music playing loud and drive with no destination. I just love it.  
Gosh, simple things really do make me happy. I love it that way. I wish that part of me never disappears. 

This is going to be a busy weekend for me! Hope you enjoy yours :))

segunda-feira, 10 de outubro de 2016

a.m. thinking, instead of sleeping

I never know if me wanting to come back to the blog is a good or a bad thing. Often I come and write when I am in a funk and since that's the most frequent lately I can't really tell if I ever come here when I am happy and bursting with energy. 
That said, I better just write and think about it later. 

It's 4:50 a.m. It's been about a week since I've been waking up in the middle of the night. You always are the first thing I think about. No sign of a good night kiss in our own virtual way, whatever this means. I guess I really don't need it. But I remember clearly what I used to think about this a few months ago and how I asked you to never stop wishing me a good night. And then you've stopped. 
I miss you. I'll carry on - missing you - until we don't miss each other anymore. But tonight I do. 

B. I miss you too. I've always said you smile with your eyes, even more than with your perfectly straight, white smile. But now you beam. I always, always remeber our first times living together as my parents asked how my new friend was (that was you) and I would invariably answer we were not friends, just roommates. Could not know what was to come. Life is getting on around the house, your room door is always open so we can feel you closer and I know we talk everyday and often video chat too. You had never spent a lot of time home since you were always out and about getting on one of your million endeavours What I miss most about you really, is your presence, probably the good old grumpy B. by the morning, the music you used to listen to, your dance moves, actually and as funny as it may sound, you walking around the house (it is very peculiar, now that I think about that) but mostly, and more than anything else, our dates. It used to involve a little walk and quite often a meal or snack,but we would never pass a lot of chitchatting. Laughter too. :))
Thanks for showing me Submarine, for going home with me on my birthday, for being mostly rational but also emotional when I don't expect you to. You definitely are one of my people. 
And now I get what they say when what matters the most is when the ones you love are happy. Love to see you in la bella Italia, happier than ever. 
You are missed!!!