segunda-feira, 27 de junho de 2016

A Whole

The part of me I like the most is my creative soul. I don't mean to say it in a pretentious way, but I like to like the things I like and I like to always be thinking about something new. I appreciate the importance I give to little things and how I value the small details that are sometimes insignificant to other people.
It often reflects on the way I see the world and therefore on my pictures. I also enjoy mixing them up and put them together, playing with shapes, colors and textures. 
That's what I enjoy most about myself. First because it makes me feel good on the inside, like as if I had no expectations about what others may think, I do it because it makes me feel good. I just get this feeling of fullfilment, pride and happiness, somehow. Second because I believe not everybody appreciate the same things I do and I like to think it makes me special, being my own way. 

So, the biggest compliment one can give me is saying I inspire others with my pictures, drawings, collages, or anything like that. It really makes my heart burst with joy and pride and I instantly start smiling, sometimes saying "ohhh" - haha. 
On the downside I must be honest and admit that I also get disappointed when someone I love and admire doesn't understand that part of me. I can't even explain it. I guess that's what I would fall in love with myself with. I can't be without that part of me. So, I guess I want to be loved for what I am, as a whole. And I couldn't live pretending I don't enjoy being the way I am. 

Maybe self-empowering much? Haha ;)

Wish you all a nice week!!

terça-feira, 21 de junho de 2016

Side Notes

a little photo of me from today, just because

We actually didn't meet as we were supposed to. And now I'm thinking how weird it is to be writing this as if you were ever going to read it. Well, don't mind me.

I've been dreaming a lot lately - daydreaming is a constant - but I usually don't dream much during the night. This past week has been the complete opposite and not only have I dreamt every single night as I've also dreamt several things all at each night. A total mess if you want to know.

Also, there's a portuguese blogger I follow and try to catch up with who writes in portuguese and she is many times a motivation to write in portuguese as well as to write about deeper things, feelings and what affects me not only in a positive way. I'm just sorry she doesn't post that often but I totally understand and I guess I kind of like the suspense and the feeling of not knowing when will I find something new.

I've been thinking about how happy I am for keeping up with these somewhat regular posts since more than a year ago now, and it feels good. I actually enjoy so much going back and reading old posts. It's so much fun and also brings me mixed feelings. But I quite like it!! So I guess I'll keep going as long as time and my will allow me. 

Have a nice week, you guys!

sábado, 18 de junho de 2016

Thank You

It's about half past midnight now and I am sitting in front of my desk with the books open. I am studying because you want to see me tomorrow after lunch which is when I usually study. I know that within 3 hours you are going to pick up your brother and you could perfectly come by to give me a good night kiss. You didn't offer. I didn't ask. Anyways, I'll be up until late to see you to tomorrow. And wherever this brings us I'll thank you because at the end I got to do more work than I was supposed to and somehow got ahead of what I had planned. I hope this turns out well. At least my exam. 

See you tomorrow after lunch. 

quinta-feira, 16 de junho de 2016

Life Lately And A Few Thoughts On Childhood

A disclaimer before you think this is a lame post about self-pity. It's NOT!
So, let's begin saying that I never thought I was incredible good at anything, like THAT good. I know am median at a few things. I don't suck at sports but I'm no athlete too, I definitly can't sing whatsoever and I don't play any instrument. I'm far from being a plausible dancer or cook, 'cause I easily lose my patience.I guess I am alright at writing but I don't even like to read it afterwards. The only thing I really enjoyed and somehow though I was kinda good at was painting at first. Never liked drwaing much, but I get into coulouring very easily. I started doing some crafting and hand work at 10yo or something like that. I don't know how it started exactly. I remember liking that kind of stuff but I guess I had never really tried it until I went to 5th grade at my school where I was first intruduced to arts class and then to a little weekly club which was nothing more than a past time really. But somehow I got into it so badly that I would ask my mom to go buy me supplies every-single-weekend. Every saturday morning, to be more exact, which I guess is why I still like saturday mornings so much. :))

Now I don't spend much time around my little bits and bobs but it certainly feels good to come back home to my little studio and do a little project for once in a while.
Looking back I am so thankful my parents never told me off because it was quite an investment actually (if you'ld only see the amount of things I own, and also how pricey they are!!) because more than just an hobbie or something I enjoy doing in my free time it has taught me that even if you are not great at something, practice really does make perfect. I know this because although I know I am far from being a great artist, or drawer or whatever you want to call it, I still remember my first art projects and I actually kept a few of my favourites and now I see how much I have evolved and I believe it made me a more creative person. It can also bring you new friendships and opportunities, so, whatever it is that you like doing, just find something you really enjoy and go for it. Even if you are not the best at it, it makes you feel good and eventually you'll become better and better. 

So, besides studying, and during my breaks I've been back to business watercolouring a little bit. 

Talk to you soon, folks!

segunda-feira, 13 de junho de 2016

Lisbon Of My Adulthood #9

I am a little bit lost at this thing of numbering my posts and stuff. I know it doesn't take much to go peak my other posts and check the number but that's how lazy I am, I guess. So, I tried number nine and I hope I got it right, haha. 

The post is named after my series of photos from Lisbon because that's how I relate them. They were all taken in those now so few and rare moments I get to spend wandering in the city, alone or with friends. But it is strange how I don't feel like talking about Lisbon, although I guess I'll always end up approching that topic somehow - I guess it proves it is a part of my life that I can't ignore. And I actually like that feeling. Is like this city is mine too, so it's not all new to me, I am just familiarised. 

So, what's new, you may ask? Honestly, life is so monotonous right now I don't know what to tell you. Actually I hope you are all in a happier place because all I do all day is run in the mornings, take a quick shower, cook lunch, then study, eat again, study alittle more and time to go to bed. And this sums up my days. Really, my life is pretty much that. There's also another excuse to leave the house besides jogging: grocery shopping!! I guess that's my new past-time now - boring I know, but it feels so good getting some sunshine in your skin and breathing fresh air that you'll use any excuse, trust me!

So that's it! I hope you have a nice week folks. preferably away from books and work! ;)

quarta-feira, 8 de junho de 2016

Every week - almost every day to be honest - I feel this urge of writing down what I am feeling. I guess I've been feeling all the feelings lately. 
The end of a cycle always gives me some time to think about what it meant, what I did and what the future holds. It's a love-hate moment to me frankly. I actually enjoy this introspective moments but it always afflicts me thinking about the future, creating expectations, making plans when there's always an uncertainty associated I don't like to deal with. So I often dodge this part. 
But I guess for now I'll just focus on what this half year brought me and what I've taken from it so far. 
So, June is here, classes are over and exam season is in full swing. Holidays are just around the corner and actually this time of year always seems more like new years to me than all the december/january festivities.  

I remember 2011 being a hell of a year. 2012 was pretty kind to me as well. Then life stood quite for a while before going down the drain. In 2015 I felt myself coming back to my real me. And for a year now I feel like I've been living the best time of my life, which kind of scars me since it's always so hard to top such great moments and memories as the ones I have from this past year. I laughed until I cried several times, I jumped and danced in the middle of the street. I've loved, I've experienced many new ways of loving others actually, I made new friends and got along with people I admire but don't have a place defined in my life - I don't know if they are gonna stay with me for long or just just be a part of my history, either way, I'm fine with it - I drank quite a lot (not a problem, I swear - haha) and sang at the top of my lungs. I've travelled and road tripped with friends and family. I cried a few times, not all of them worth it, but I certainly laughed many more, and even better, I am pretty sure I've laughed at how silly I was for crying over silly stuff. 

There are many more things I could talk about. And I hope I will. I want to share them and also make sure I won't ever forget them, so I better write them down. 
At the end I realise I've grown and most important of all, I've lived and have been happy while doing so. I am at this point in life where I don't know where I am going, not sure what I am doing really and still have a hard time making choices at the supermarket. Not everyday is a good day. Tonight is being a pretty crappy one if you are wondering, but I feel I am mature enough when at this point, right now, late at night, feeling mixed feelings and with so many things going on my mind, I am sure I am still happy. And I hope will never never lose this ability to relativise things. It sure hepls me coping with life. And myself. 

(Have a few photos in my laptop to share but I'll leave that for another occasion)