domingo, 11 de fevereiro de 2018

Life Lately


Words don't come easy to describe the past days. I have got this feeling that everything is in constant change, and suddenly it's hard to know myself. I'm left with the sense that time goes by too quickly and I feel the need to slow down, stop for a minute and take it all in. But I can't seem to do so. I can't avoid this persistent perception that time is fleeting and I am waisting it. It often leaves me feeling overwhelmed. 

On account of a work commitment I ended up spending my first week of holidays in Lisbon. Due to reoccurant and repetitive routines for the past 2 months I was determined to spend my days doing more productive, fulfilling and somehow dinamic activities. Me being all about lists I planned out every single day of the week, starting early in the morning until bedtime, and made a weekly chart with all I was willingly commiting myself to. I went to little fairs and flea markets, to the local farmers' market on an early Saturday morning, I hitted up a few museums and exhibitions, I watched a play in my favourite theater for the fist time in 3 years and tried to catch up on a few films I was eager to watch lately. I baked cookies and sent them to a friend living abroad, I did the laundry and cleaned my house. I tried to run daily or at least walk as much as I could insted of taking the bus or the underground. I somehow managed to do it all, and was left with no spare time to worry about everything that had been on my mind lately. I still wish I had read more. 
By the end of the week I was quite happy I managed to do all I had previously planned spending as little money as I could. I would like to have gone to more restaurants or coffee shops, but since my saving money policy was in force that week I was quite content with what I still did. 
I then spent the weekend with my sister in Porto, before heading home for good until my birthday. 
The days had been kind to me and I tried to take it all in, as much as I could. 
Life is quieter now, painting, drawing, still photographing along the way. Running when I feel like it. But I'm also left worrying and overthinking about everything that is to come. 
Right now I am looking for places to go as I have the need to evade myself from familiar places. I still have to learn how to deal with myself, my thoughts and alone time. I feel like this is becoming more of a problem as I get older. 
I've been speaking English quite often but not writing it down so I decided to come here and leave a few thoughts on life lately. Still, I apologise to myself that I could not keep them shorter. Which deep down I guess I shouldn't, but instead embrace them. 
I am currently wishing I could speak more and better french, longing for the old days when I had classes and wishing I could have taken more out of it. Or at least not have let it all go away. 

Au revoir et a bientôt!

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