Still going through photos from last summer... Very much in need of some time off.

Films of the Year

Don't know about you but my night was a turbulent one. Fell flat on my bed by 7a.m. and I still haven't processed much of what happened that night, that was pretty much a representation of my whole year. 

Today I've done nothing, as expected, but I did watch a film, an italian one, called "Perfetti Sconosciuti" - or you can call it drama, drama, drama instead if you want. So basically and summing up, the whole story goes around a bunch of friends who find out each one of them has something to hide. At the end I felt quite upset because I couldn't keep recalling a conversation I had last night about a couple who share their lives, their kids lives but sleep in separate bedrooms and don't live in harmony. Most of the plot was about relationships, cheating or lying and hiding important stuff from one another. 

Yesterday night I felt incredible sad for my friend's parents. And I thought about my own parents. They are now divorced for quite some years but I don't ever remember them calling disrespectful names to each other and although me and my sister could sense something wasn't right, we only found out because I saw a letter from the court and asked what it was about, so the cenario at home wasn't that bad so we could see it coming.
The film was everything I don't want to myself. That close couple is everything I don't want in my life. I certainly couldn't live in such anguish, unsure of myself or the life I was living and I wonder what keeps this people together, bearing situations that are so destructive and unhealthy. I guess this is all a sociological problem and each situation is different from the other but I also ask to myself if those couples who endure are the ones that you pass by down the street holding hands and taking their grandchildren for a stroll. And if at the end any of those things matter, if there is love, if aging makes you look at things different..

So I guess there is no rights or wrongs, or if there is, your right may be my wrong, what works with some may not work with others.

Not judging anyone, just a personal thought. So, all that said; while watching this bunch of drama I thought about the films I enjoyed the most this year. I'll try to order them chronologically (in the order I've watched them) and rank them. Please, try not to judge for watching any of them just now with such delay. Here it goes:

Drive 7/10

Fight Club 7/10

Sunshine of the Spotless Mind 7/10

Forrest Gump 10/10

Léon the Professional 8/10 

I guess that was it.  Of course I watched Amélie last night before midnight because it is my all time favourite :))

Balance

2016 was hard. Don't even know if that's the word. Ups and downs, every year is the same. This one had a bit more downs than ups and even if the ups were good I guess the downs just took them over.

I remember ending 2015 with doubts about myself, my feelings and what was still to come. January came easy, I made a new friend who is worth to be mentioned, not because our friendship lasted but because it had quite an impact on me. That was probabily the shortest friendship I've ever made but it was still significant. I discovered new songs and watched Fight Club for the first time, as well as Drive and loved them both. Looking back I've appreciated every moment of it.

I turned 20 in February. Said goodbye to my teen years. They are now behind me. I remember my birthday clearly and I feel I've celebrated for way too long and it felt good. I surrounded myself with the ones I love and made it a happy time. I guess I started to enjoy birthdays all over again.

My exames turned out not to be so great but I got over it with a quick trip to Porto with my best friends and sister. I met G. And that's all I remember about the the arriving of spring. I guess this was the month were the good things really tried to counterbalance the bad ones. 

And then April, obviously. I should go through my camera roll or my laptop filles to see what I was up to by then - that is one of the reasons why I like photographing and writing down stuff so much. Documenting what my memory can't remember for long gives somethings a new meaning of existence I didn't know they had. So this wasn't a big month but there is something worth mention, and it was Mafalda's birthday :)) Apart from that I've wandered a bit with friends and family and had a few car trips, not far though. Didn't enjoy any of them in particular, I realise now. 

May. Don't need to go anywhere because it does not seem very far to me. Time has passed and May was a pretty good one. I remember the first time I said G. I liked him, threw a little party at our place in Lisbon in close friends and had more fun in Coimbra (thanks Xana!!), now with G. by my side :)) 

June was peaceful. Portugal scored all the way through the Euro and made it to the finals. We ended up victorious but it didn't really had an impact on me, lol. Went to Algarve with a few of my bestfriends and it was it, 

July came along and times were quiet. Went to Algarve with family, had a few nights out with friends, especially with JC, who would always be only a call away. Also ran my socks off - that was always fun, thanks for the patience JC :))

August was clearly marked by my trip to Madeira! And I guess that's all this month comes up to. Ended the summer with a bunch of beautiful pictures of the ocean. 

September settled in, went to Coimbra for a few days with G. and actually enjoyed it quite a lot. Thanks for having me!! Back to classes and to the same old routines. 

October - bam, so close and I can't even remember it! Except for G.'s birthday (ahah) that we actually did not spent together and neither has he celebrated because he says he does not care much about that day. I was happy for him turning 23 though :)  Meanwhile I watched Forest Gump for the first time and how could I not love it, right? 

November and MC turned 20! Missed her specially that day. We celebrated latter on and I had quite some fun! My grandfather passed away and JC took me to the cinema. That was the last time we were together and only spoke to each other a few weeks afterwards. This was a tough month overall. 

And here we are. December is here, I lost a friend and I miss him so. Every single day. Christmas is just around the corner and I don't even feel like celebrating. Doubting myself once again. So, I guess I am just back at the starting point. Another year, another ride. 

Thought of posting a colourful portrait just to brighten up a bit what's left of 2016. I hope this next one comes easier to me. I don't have many particular wishes, and the ones I haver really are either silly or just the basic but important things. So, I guess this is it. 

Wish you all a merry, merry Christmas and a Happy New Year  

The End of an Era

Don't have much to say. We are growing apart.

Thank you for your friendship, for making me laugh and for driving me late at night. Thanks for all the runs, the silly dances and songs I shouted. And I am sorry if I've ever been unfair with you. 

M. 

Red

I had to check it, but no, I still hadn't post any pictures from this day. 

They are from a distant weekend back in August (?), maybe September, but it was a day I woke up late and called Mafalda to go for a walk somewhere. We ended up driving an hour away from home at lunch time and ended up in this beautiful park in a small town where we had these pics taken. 

Mafalda and I know each other for about 6 years now, I think, give it or take, Since we both moved to Lisbon back in 2014 we became inseparable. But in a very chilled way that I guess I don't share with any other friend. We both show up at each other's place without notice and bring dinner, we go for a late talk or for morning a walk. And it makes me happy. 

Yesterday I had a dinner at a friend's place and decided to come home earlier than everybody else, but late enough for the metro to have just a few trains. I got there late at nigh, it was almost 1am and the next train would take about 13 minutes to arrive. I was alone listening to music in my phone and then, out of nowhere, Mafalda texted me wishing me a good night. I mean, damn, that's the kind of thing I live for. I hate surprises but I love the unexpected (does this even make sense?)!

Just wanted to make sure I got this written down so I can always remember it and feel thankful for my friends and thought these photos would make it justice. :)) 

Who cares who's watching

I've debated whether I should or should not share this info with you but here it goes: I often change clothes with my windows wide open - no curtains.

So let's make this clear I do not find it particularly appropriate what so ever, but I also don't mind it at all. It is just something that doesn't concerns me, really. To be honest I don't even spend any of my time thinking about it. 

I guess I could say it is just natural to me to change clothes. As it is to have my windows open as soon as I get up in the morning. But often when I have friends over that's somehow something that worries them as soon as they realise there are other windows on the other side of the street with potential curious neighbours who could be peeking. I know, they could. But to me it is like "wow, how did you even noticed that? Like, I do it every day and I don't even look outside, I'm just doing whatever I am doing, living my life." And then I always feel like I am minorising something that is quite important to others and that I, myself, don't even care about.

And I guess this is a silly example that illustrates life: we all give different importance to all kinds of subjects in our lives. Some prioritise privacy, others value daylight and fresh air. Some can't live without chocolate, others would rather have a clean face without a pimple. And that's fine. Who cares who's juding? No one is watching ;)

Have a nice week folks :))