segunda-feira, 10 de outubro de 2016

a.m. thinking, instead of sleeping

I never know if me wanting to come back to the blog is a good or a bad thing. Often I come and write when I am in a funk and since that's the most frequent lately I can't really tell if I ever come here when I am happy and bursting with energy. 
That said, I better just write and think about it later. 

It's 4:50 a.m. It's been about a week since I've been waking up in the middle of the night. You always are the first thing I think about. No sign of a good night kiss in our own virtual way, whatever this means. I guess I really don't need it. But I remember clearly what I used to think about this a few months ago and how I asked you to never stop wishing me a good night. And then you've stopped. 
I miss you. I'll carry on - missing you - until we don't miss each other anymore. But tonight I do. 

B. I miss you too. I've always said you smile with your eyes, even more than with your perfectly straight, white smile. But now you beam. I always, always remeber our first times living together as my parents asked how my new friend was (that was you) and I would invariably answer we were not friends, just roommates. Could not know what was to come. Life is getting on around the house, your room door is always open so we can feel you closer and I know we talk everyday and often video chat too. You had never spent a lot of time home since you were always out and about getting on one of your million endeavours What I miss most about you really, is your presence, probably the good old grumpy B. by the morning, the music you used to listen to, your dance moves, actually and as funny as it may sound, you walking around the house (it is very peculiar, now that I think about that) but mostly, and more than anything else, our dates. It used to involve a little walk and quite often a meal or snack,but we would never pass a lot of chitchatting. Laughter too. :))
Thanks for showing me Submarine, for going home with me on my birthday, for being mostly rational but also emotional when I don't expect you to. You definitely are one of my people. 
And now I get what they say when what matters the most is when the ones you love are happy. Love to see you in la bella Italia, happier than ever. 
You are missed!!!

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