I remember back in the day when we started dating how I didn't feel the spark. I guess I never do at the beginning and you were no exception. I also remember coming home from a drink with you and saying to my sister "you know what?" and she answered without me adding anything else "yes, I do. You're thinking you don't love him". She was right.
I guess the way we experience emotions is very particular and very personal. I also think that we didn't feel the same way when it all began. I am still not sure we do, although I am positive we love each other deeply. I am sure of my feelings and I do not question yours. It is just the way we experience things that varies.
When I was younger (not that I've experienced much since then) I used to avoid registering things related to love in particular, but with any emotion in general. My memory has always been quite good and I did not need help to remember my past, assuming there were things I did not want to come across in the future. If you think about it, I am a junkie for photography and so far, one year later, we only have one picture of the both of us, taken with an i-Pod that happens to be yours, not even mine. Still, I have kept that photograph dearly.
I guess there is only one thing I really can't forget, not because I want to, but because it had quite an impact on me. And I do realise there are things that you could have done which could have hurt me more, or just the same. It was this one time, not that long ago, when we met and you said you hadn't come because you've missed me, but simply because you've commited. So there we were, after 2 or 3 weeks of not seeing each other.
Do not feel bad, you still are the best part in this relationship of ours. I have never said such thing, but I have had my part of blunders and I do admit I am far from being perfect, only being sorry and thankful for all the times you have to put up with a flawed me.
Still, I have to say, it took me a while to acknowledge this, but I remember the exact moment I thought I might like you, I mean, really like you. :)) Slowly, but surely I realised I do love you.
I can never say enough or expound all the reasons why I do. There are the big things and the little things. I love the way you talk with your hands and pretty much the way your hands move in general, I love that when you smile your dimples show up and it lights up my day. Also, the way you walk, which is very peculiar and very yours.
I love that you are smart and resourceful, that you seek the whys and wherefores, that you never settle until it makes sense to you. I also like that you are aware of these as qualities of yours.
Also, I appreciate your values, your education, your comprehension and your patience. I am thankful for your love, your concerns and your doubts.
Your silly jokes make my day. The texts you send me when I am asleep or a random call in the middle of the day, your gum packages and cd collections that I am dedicated to contribute to. All things I adore.
You are the most complete person I know, and therefore my favourite too. I also like your kisses, they are my favourite too :)
Sometimes I lack in words, other times I don't and it ends up with me pointing out all of this. With the years passing by I got wiser and also tougher. I've changed and today I appreciate writing a bit of what I feel and am up to. This is me today, and it makes me so happy that I want to be able to come back to this kind of feeling, no matter what the future holds, or life leads me to.